I’ve been thinking a lot since Ho-Tay’s lesson on Jesus being the cornerstone a little over a week ago. His lesson really struck me because I got a visual image of a large cornerstone and then all theses little rocks that were leaning down on it. But when I pictured my life I saw the cornerstone and a lot of little rocks, but they all were not leaning on the cornerstone. Some of them were depending on some larger rocks that were in there. Such that when the larger rocks were moved the whole structure of the house shifted. And I have felt like my house has really shifted. I can look back, especially over the last three years at how God has been moving those rocks around. As I pondered this metaphor a bit more I got a little angry at God. Because those big rocks were things I really liked about my life and I didn’t want them to be completely taken away.
So . . . I bet you’re wondering when I’m going to get to Jenga . . .
Well, after a few days of reading and hearing about idolatry and how that can ruin our relationship with God. And after a week of thinking about God taking away my big rocks i.e. my idols that took my attention and my dependence away from him I realized that God was more playing Jenga than pulling out the rocks. In Jenga you remove blocks from a structure and then replace them at the top. When it’s played well the structure gets really high and maintains its balance through the center. The balance isn’t spread out over multiple points. I can look back at how God has been doing this for me. Three years ago he took my job that was my life and moved it to a different place so that I was not so dependent on it for my identity. He took my apartment that I so loved and moved me to a community where I lost some of my independence but gained a new idea of what it means to live as an individual in Christian community. This list could continue. But I can look and see how God is not taking those precious things from me; he is just moving their place in my life so I can be properly balanced on the center of my life which is him.
Saturday, September 25, 2004
Sunday, September 19, 2004
Domestic Goddess
This morning I set aside time to do some cleaning. More than just regular pick up the place, but some serious cleaning. I define that as: doing the floors. My most loathed task.
So I put on the tunes (Lenny Kravitz) I put on my domestic goddess clothes, grabbed my mop and went to it. But I guess it wasn’t meant to be. About half-way through, my mop broke. Not just something small popping off. Nope. It broke. I tried to fix it and even improvise a solution because I was not going to get around to domestic goddess mode again for a long, long time. But to no avail. I refused to be discouraged so I plugged in the vacuum. A minute or two into it, there was this burning smell and the vacuum came to an abrupt stop. hmmmm I am beginning to feel like there is a conspiracy. I flipped over the vacuum to find ENOUGH HAIR TO MAKE ANOTHER PERSON wound around the brush roller at the bottom. It was disgusting. It was all mine, too. How could I lose that much hair on my carpet alone (this does not count what is in my shower drain or in my hair brush or in other, uncarpeted parts of the house) and still have hair on my head? How did it find its way there? I am thoroughly skeeved. Wow. God must be busy keeping count of the hairs on this head.
So I put on the tunes (Lenny Kravitz) I put on my domestic goddess clothes, grabbed my mop and went to it. But I guess it wasn’t meant to be. About half-way through, my mop broke. Not just something small popping off. Nope. It broke. I tried to fix it and even improvise a solution because I was not going to get around to domestic goddess mode again for a long, long time. But to no avail. I refused to be discouraged so I plugged in the vacuum. A minute or two into it, there was this burning smell and the vacuum came to an abrupt stop. hmmmm I am beginning to feel like there is a conspiracy. I flipped over the vacuum to find ENOUGH HAIR TO MAKE ANOTHER PERSON wound around the brush roller at the bottom. It was disgusting. It was all mine, too. How could I lose that much hair on my carpet alone (this does not count what is in my shower drain or in my hair brush or in other, uncarpeted parts of the house) and still have hair on my head? How did it find its way there? I am thoroughly skeeved. Wow. God must be busy keeping count of the hairs on this head.
Saturday, September 18, 2004
The Monster Under the Bed
We all have those fears that we keep locked up tight. Some we entertain from time to time, knowing that the probability of them ever coming true is slim to nothing. There are others that make us uncomfortable, but we know that we could handle it. Then there are those that are so deep that they are nearly forgotten. To even acknowledge their existence would make them real. It is these animals that we dare not entertain lest they grow and not fit back into their prison cells.
Recently, I’ve had to acknowledge the possibility of one of these deep-seated fears. The ripple of its reality has left little untouched within me. And while my faith in God has not wavered, my trust in people has.
In these days of trying to make spiritual sense of my very human predicament I read in My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers:
“Bring all your “arguments and . . . every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ” regarding the matter and everything will be come as clear as daylight to you (2 Corinthians 10:5). . . . Even the very smallest thing that we allow in our lives that is not under the control of the Holy Spirit is completely sufficient to account for spiritual confusion and spending all our time thinking about it will still never make it clear. Spiritual confusion can only be conquered through obedience. . . . when our natural power of sight is devoted and submitted in obedience to the Holy Spirit, it becomes the very power by which we perceive God’s will, and our entire life is kept in simplicity.”
So this is my prayer: that my sight will not be through the lens of fear and the source of death, but that it will be through the lens of the Spirit the Creator and Sustainer of all life. For God did not give me a spirit of fear but of love, power and a strong mind. 2 Tim 1:7.
Recently, I’ve had to acknowledge the possibility of one of these deep-seated fears. The ripple of its reality has left little untouched within me. And while my faith in God has not wavered, my trust in people has.
In these days of trying to make spiritual sense of my very human predicament I read in My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers:
“Bring all your “arguments and . . . every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ” regarding the matter and everything will be come as clear as daylight to you (2 Corinthians 10:5). . . . Even the very smallest thing that we allow in our lives that is not under the control of the Holy Spirit is completely sufficient to account for spiritual confusion and spending all our time thinking about it will still never make it clear. Spiritual confusion can only be conquered through obedience. . . . when our natural power of sight is devoted and submitted in obedience to the Holy Spirit, it becomes the very power by which we perceive God’s will, and our entire life is kept in simplicity.”
So this is my prayer: that my sight will not be through the lens of fear and the source of death, but that it will be through the lens of the Spirit the Creator and Sustainer of all life. For God did not give me a spirit of fear but of love, power and a strong mind. 2 Tim 1:7.
Tuesday, September 07, 2004
Punch Buggie
This weekend I went out of town with my #1 guy (not that there is a #2 guy or anything). We had a great time riding around in his bug. I didn't think it was true. I thought it was one of those things only for commercials . . . but people really do punch each other when they see a bug drive by. It was pretty fun to watch.
We started our own game, which seemed very, well, for lack of a better term, circular. I am not sure if you can actually play punch buggie from within a bug. Shouldn't the game then become one to spot cars different from yourself, say, like "High Five Hummer"?
We started our own game, which seemed very, well, for lack of a better term, circular. I am not sure if you can actually play punch buggie from within a bug. Shouldn't the game then become one to spot cars different from yourself, say, like "High Five Hummer"?
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